Conan Gray said this at an interview one time: “I made the album with the intention of wanting to surprise people.” He succeeded. At least with me. The first thought that came to mind after listening to “Found Heaven” was “Conan Gray makes this sort of music now?” What I mean by “this sort of music” is glam rock and synth pop à la the 1980s. I was surprised that he made “this sort of music” because it had already been revived by The Weeknd and Dua Lipa in 2020. What’s more is the picture on his cover is reminiscent of David Bowie. It is as if he is determined to command the 1980s again. As I listened to his new album, I wondered: why did Conan Gray turn back to the 1980s now of all times?
He uses something close to standard tactics in creating retro music. He diligently colored his album with the 1980s from his first track “Found Heaven” that starts off with a holy chorus, which is soon joined by the prominent kick drums and synthesizer sounds to create a damp vibe, to the danceable “Never Ending Song,” and “Fainted Love,” and ends with the rock ballad “Winner” that pulls at your heartstrings. And along the way, you are constantly hit in the face with a large mass made of music by the likes of Michael Jackson, Queen, a-ha, and David Bowie, impressions left behind by the 1977 film Saturday Night Fever and everything else from that era. Gray melds into the time period as if he belongs there.
Young artists aren’t turning to retro music because they long for the past. In fact, they haven’t even experienced the particular era in person. It is more complex than that. Instead, older music is more of a tool for searching for their identity, or for filling what they feel is lacking within themselves. Urbanization disintegrated the sense of community, and the speed of life has sped up more than ever. We are “forced” to live a quick-paced life, to be more precise. Individuals can’t help but feel confused within a non-community that lacks communication. And so they search for their own “homes.” With the advancement of technology, time travel became possible in the musical world, leading people to build new homes within the music of the era where they feel most at ease.
Conan Gray was a YouTuber from a young age who shared his everyday life and values through his videos. This is the reason why Gen Zs feel a sense of connection with him. This impression of him extends to his music. It embodies things like being in want, depression, and losing his center in the whirlwind of complex emotions - the confused state of thinking about who “I” am as a newly hatched adult. Loving someone and the unfamiliar experience of emotional highs and lows that follows, discovering a new side of “myself” in the midst of all that - this is probably why Gen Zs, who are going through this very process, are loyally following Conan Gray.
His candid nature is reflected in his new album Found Heaven. The themes dealt with in the album are similar: love and heartbreak. But there is a huge difference, however. He is searching for something. I was sure that he was searching for love. Or so I thought until I listened to the first track “Found Heaven” where he sings “Don’t be scared, little child / you’re no demon” as if to a child; “Never Ending Song” where he sings of wanting to be buried in everlasting love; and “Fainted Love” where he explains that faint love is good enough. But upon reaching “Miss You” that questions his decisions, “Bourgeoisieses” where he sings of his desire for money and status, and “Winner” where he solemnly acknowledges the hurt inflicted on him by someone. He was searching for a place to rest and relax, where he can be himself - a new “home.”
Now, let’s double back to the first track. In “Found Heaven” he repeatedly mentions God and says “Don’t be scared, little child / of that feeling / You’re in love / You found Heaven” to the listeners. Here, God is a metaphor for many things. It can be religion, home environment, or even social pressure. If there weren’t any of these things (“No God above us”) then how would we act? Conan says it’s okay to not feel guilty for loving someone, that it’s okay to live life by my own will and not by anyone else’s.
Gray opened up about his family in “Family Line” off his previous album Superache. If we take a closer look at what “a new home” that he is searching for throughout his entire album is, then it is highly likely that the person who hurt him is his father according to the last track “Winner.” But his attitude has changed somewhat. He doesn’t deny the inevitable connection that he has with his family even in his rage that stems from his childhood trauma, like shackles around his ankles. He accepts it. He swims. Freely, in fact. As if he’s finally free from his pain.
The 1980s nostalgia that is tangible in every track in the album beams through the prism that is Conan Gray, shines on us, and implores us to take a clearer look at ourselves in this new light. In the end, what makes “me” “myself” is only “me.”