Just like how Jiheon holds on to her cherished memories, the time spent by a person who knows to love her life holds the power to sustain what lies beyond. Standing before a milestone in time that comes to everyone, Jiheon’s “age nineteen” somehow feels like it will be more special. 

How did you spend your time after the College Scholastic Aptitude Test (CSAT)? 

Jiheon: I had practice and promotions after the CSAT too, but I didn’t know what to do with my downtime because I used to spend it by squeezing in some studying. All I did last year was study, practice and work. Suddenly it feels like something’s missing. Now that I’m an adult, I think I’ll start knocking off things I couldn’t do before one by one, like getting a driver's license. (laughs)

You’re really beaming now, maybe because the CSAT is over. (laughs)

Jiheon: (laughs) It’s a weight off my shoulders because I worked hard and the results aren’t bad. There was a rush of activities a month before the test and there was a lot of pressure. I thought, “I have so much to do, will I be able to prepare enough?” and I was worried that all my work until now would be for nothing. I also know that people will focus a lot on the outcome, so I wanted to meet those expectations too. 

You were in tears it was so hard but you massaged your eyes to keep the swelling down for the shoots and kept on studying. 

Jiheon: There was some of that during our “Talk & Talk” promotions. I came home after the first broadcast and started to study and the tears just wouldn’t stop. First was regret at how I didn’t like the way I looked on the screen for our first performance, but I still had studying to do, meanwhile I’m falling asleep, I’m stressed out so I’m gaining weight and that’s playing havoc with my eating habits, and even while studying I’m doubting myself saying, “Am I doing the right thing?” The next day my eyes were super puffed up on stage. (laughs)

But it was amazing how you said you stuck with it to take responsibility for your choices.

Jiheon: Actually I thought a lot about giving up along the way. Doing this and our team activities at the same time was really hard. But whenever I said I’m preparing for the CSAT, so many people would say, “You already have a job as an idol, do you really need to do this?” That made me think I’m going to show them I can carry this to the end and not give up on the choice I made, and what they said actually spurred me on. 

The “Study with Me” from “HoneY_log” seems to prove that. How did you end up sharing a clip of you studying?

Jiheon: There were a lot of flover who asked for a “Study with Me”, and I also saw a posting that wondered if it wasn’t just a concept. So I thought I’ll show everyone, then. It’s not easy to sit and focus on studying without even a bathroom break for five hours if you aren’t used to studying. So it was a little bit of pride. Like, “I really did work hard!” (laughs) I actually can’t watch that clip even now because I feel sorry for myself studying like that with all the other pressures. But I feel at ease now because of just the fact that I tried hard with no regrets. 

It’s the result of you staying true to yourself even after debut. 

Jiheon: Ever since I was little I was told that “you are first and foremost a student,” and I thought the same too. I studied hard so I couldn’t let that go even after I debuted. I’d gotten steadily good grades and I was really shocked to see them dip. So I kept studying thinking that I’ll keep up both my studies and my work, even if I had to sleep less. Even though college prep is so hard, I thought if I didn’t have this memory I’ll really regret it later. 

Memories seem to be important for you. 

Jiheon: I think memories are really important. When I’m watching a TV drama I think, I wish I had some of those memories too.. I thought I'd be really sad if I missed out on doing things that I could have done if I didn’t have this job. When I was young I’d see celebrities say on TV, “I’ve never been on a school trip. I never had friends in school” and I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to become an adult with all of those memories. 

The “WE GO” and “Talk & Talk” challenge videos that you did with your SOPA friends were probably one of those special memories. How did you come to start these videos?

Jiheon: My school years were so precious, I wanted to spend the last of my 19th year meaningfully, I thought flover would like it—there were lots of reasons I wanted to do it so I asked my friends and they said, “Of course!” so we shot it. I asked them the night before and they came back with the choreo the very next day. I was so thankful. Actually, the company said it might be best if I didn’t do it out of concern for my condition with the busy schedule we’d been having, but I really wanted to go for it. I remember I’d finished a shoot in the middle of the night, went to school to record it and then went back to work.  

You’re also very fond of the “HoneY_log” videos you plan and make yourself, and what sorts of moments do you want to preserve?

Jiheon: I show myself as an idol through our fromis_9 content, so here I wanted to show myself just the way I am. I want to show myself both in a way that can be an example to others as a person who is recognizable, and also that my life as a person is no different than anyone else’s. That’s why I put a lot of my daily life into it. Maybe this might seem like a curse of my profession (laughs) but I look at other content and I think about how I can adapt and infuse that into “HoneY_log”. I taught myself everything, from adding text to editing and keyboard shortcuts, so in the beginning it took me a week or two to finish one and now I think I just need three days. I’ve come far. (laughs)

How does it feel to look back on your school days as an adult?

Jiheon: I know it’s myself I’m talking about here but I think I spent them being really cute, pretty (laughs) and diligent. I lived a life I can be really proud of. I didn’t do what I shouldn't do, I did everything I should do, I studied hard and got good grades, I was on the student council, I think I did everything someone can do in their teens. 

You were class president, vice president, and even student council president. I thought you had a shy personality so it’s amazing you led from the front all these times. 

Jiheon: I was actually never very shy. I think it changed after debut. I think my MBTI before debut might have been “E” (laughs), that’s how much I liked to step up and lead. Every person I passed by in the hallway I’d exchange greetings with, that’s how many friends I had. 

What changed along the way?

Jiheon: I had a lot of self-confidence because I worked hard as a student and my parents showered me with love. But after debut I learned that I had many shortcomings and became drawn into myself more and more. That’s why I call the early days after debut my dark times. (laughs) The members also say I looked like I was having a really hard time right after debut. I was living apart from my parents, my confidence was at a low but I still had my perfectionist streak, so it was really tough.   

What do you think has changed after debut compared to how you were then?

Jiheon: Before, if I didn’t look good on camera or some plan went awry I’d be so stressed out to the point of tears. I was occupied with the thought of doing everything well. But now I’ve realized that I can’t be good at everything and not everything goes according to plan, so I’ve become more generous to myself. That’s why if I look at some of our earlier performances, I think I look like I’m suffering being trapped in the thought, “This is how I need to do this.”

I couldn’t tell because you always had on a bright smile on stage, but you yourself can feel how your emotions show up on the performance. 

Jiheon: When I see my personal cams I can tell, “I had fun doing this performance” or “this one must have been tough”, and I can see if I was smiling because it really was fun or because I was trying to put on a bigger smile. Before I had a clear idea about “the expression I should have”. But from the time we started getting ready for “WE GO” I began to think, “Am I really enjoying this?” so I cleared my mind and focused just on the song and let my emotions carry me, and flover actually loved that more. 

The “late night escape” theme of this album seems to somehow blend in with your situation. Especially the escape from the daily life look you showed in the “After Midnight” version concept photos. 

Jiheon: That’s right. (laughs) We shot that exactly three days before the CSAT, so I think I was really excited thinking the whole while that “I’m going to be done real soon!” Now that I’m an adult, I want to show a new side of myself and, since I feel I didn’t get to fully enjoy the last “Talk & Talk” promos I want to let go and enjoy the performances this time. It’s the start of my twenties, so I want to do it right. 

Your dancing style is soft and wispy, so how did the choreo for the title track “DM” that required a lot of control suit you?

Jiheon: Wow, I was actually told again and again that no matter how hard I went it looked like I was dancing softly. So I try to really work at it and go strong, but at the same time I’m trying to avoid changing my dancing style completely, and give it that power but still not lose my own silhouette. 

What about the singing?

Jiheon: Overall I tried to match my tone to the ambiance of the song, and for the last “I like you / My heart says I want you” of the chorus I worked hard at keeping up the energy that the members poured out leading up to it. For some reason I tear up when I listen to “DM.” The actual lyrics of DM is about “I’m going to confess my love to you,” but I think it’s also a story that fromis_9 wants to tell the world. We’re in our fifth year but there’s so much still left to show, and I think that's really distilled into this song so I feel all I need to do is show myself as who I am. 

When you achieved a music show no. 1 for the first time last year you said you thought of the whole journey of fromis_9. How do you feel about flover who’ve been by your side the whole way?

Jiheon: Before, I just thought I should return that love by looking great on stage. But even when we’re off for a long period flover keep cheering us on, keep waiting for us, keep being there for us. I began to realize that, “The stage is not everything. It’s about sharing our emotions together” and I thought more about wanting to be like close friends with flover. Now, I feel like we’ve become really close. Seeing our flover for “2022 Weverse Con” was so thrilling and moving. I thought about how I’d really love to have our own concert with flover. 

You brought your unique character to appear on “MMTG” and MC the “INK” concert, and I’m sure there will be many more opportunities and challenges. What are you looking forward to?

Jiheon: There’s so much I want to do both as fromis_9 and as Baek Jiheon. Concert goes without saying, I want to MC again, and I like dramas so I want to try acting. I honestly want to do everything I get a chance to do. The CSAT was a major milestone so I feel like I’m setting out in search of new challenges. (laughs)

I can feel your excitement on the verge of a new start as a grownup. 

Jiheon: I’m so happy I’m an adult now! (laughs) I constantly think, “What can I do ?” Before, I was wary about having to become an adult and take full responsibility for myself, but now I’m looking forward to it. There’s no limit to what I can do, and I’m just getting started.