BEOMGYU is not the type to be swept away by brief waves of happiness nor to drown in despair when it inevitably comes. He simply believes in himself. That’s how he keeps himself walking down the long road ahead.

In your previous interview with Weverse Magazine, you talked about grappling with how to love yourself. Are you finding it easier to practice the “love myself” mantra now? 

BEOMGYU: Yes, I’m practicing “love myself”! (laughs) I think my sense of self-worth is higher now than it was back then, both physically and mentally.

In what way?

BEOMGYU: I’ve been working out a lot, for starters. And gaming less. At one point I tried giving up gaming completely, but I play in moderation now, just playing one or two rounds with friends and going right to bed.

Isn’t moderation even harder?

BEOMGYU: It is, yes. There’s been so many times I became determined to stick with something, only to lose my resolve every time, and I felt pathetic when I did, but it became a lot better once I became determined to improve myself. I realized I need to keep going, no matter what happens. Making up for my shortcomings has made me a healthier person and proud of myself.

That makes me think of something you said at the Fan Live, MOA X TOGETHER in March: “I’ve been so happy and healthy lately.” What has been your source of happiness these days?

BEOMGYU: Just everyday life. It doesn’t come from problems clearing up or doing anything special—I’m just happy living my everyday life. I didn’t have too many friends other than my members before, but lately I have more and more friends I can talk with and rely on, and that’s been a weight off my shoulders. Most notably, I became really close with HEESEUNG while we were doing the joint performance with ENHYPEN. He’s a funny guy, for one (laughs) and we go to bed at similar times and we’re both into gaming. We grew closer after talking about this and that, and I made more friends one by one, and now we can rely on each other and have fun together.

Judging by how intensely you danced to BTS’s “FIRE” in BACKSTAGE: TXT x EN- DOCUMENTARY, you seem to prefer performances where you can fully express and not have to hold yourself back. You really think carefully about the best way to express things.

BEOMGYU: I’ve always wanted to do a good job at expressions including facial ones on stage ever since I was a trainee. I think there are plenty of people who are good at singing and dancing. But I feel like it isn’t easy to put on a performance that goes beyond that and draws people in. I think I’m becoming even more ambitious about it because I’m not fully satisfied with my performance yet.

I heard that you spent a lot of time talking to the label and advocating your specific vision for the video of your cover of “Wonder” by ADOY that was released around your birthday.

BEOMGYU: The reason I chose “Wonder” in the first place is because I had a whole plan about the kind of images I wanted to go along with it. I felt like the cover would be incomplete without a video to capture the right mood, so I was firm when I told the label my ideas. As a result, the video team was very helpful, and I really liked the way the video turned out. It came out while I was in quarantine and I really liked it so I watched it every day. (laughs)

You talked about “Wonder” on the V LIVE you did for your birthday and explained that the video shows “what my personal life looks like, after work,” which you said “may look glamorous, but it isn’t, actually.” Why did you want to show that side of yourself to MOA?

BEOMGYU: Because it’s a side of me they don’t normally see. I thought I could show them that side now. I always told MOA about the difficulties I face, but that was only 70% of it—I wanted to show them the remaining 30% now, too. When you’re famous, people only end up seeing the glamor, but since there’s a bright side, I think there’s a definite dark side, too. So I wanted to show them how worn out I get in my personal life as well. Most of all, I wanted to make the video feel like they were there with me. V posted a video where he covered “Someone Like You” by Adele, and if you watch it, the camera just follows him as he walks down the street, so it feels like you’re walking along with him. I was inspired after I saw the video and explained in detail to the video team all the things I wanted to get across: “It has to be filmed so that it makes MOA feel like they’re taking a walk with me, and it has to show me going home from the studio in a car, and the captions at the bottom need to be yellow and in this font.” Like that.