During the interview, REN was constantly changing his body language, facial expressions, and tone. He spoke enthusiastically—about who he has become.

I was surprised to see you with blue hair.

REN: I’ve been at this for a long time, and there’s only a limited number of new things I can do. I already changed my appearance so many times. I was thinking what I could do that would be totally different and wanted to try out blue hair. So I really pushed for my idea—that I had to dye my hair blue. (laughs) I really like this hair color.

You showed off some bold style in the Allure photo shoot a little while ago. You looked like you had a lot of fun.

REN: It’s fun just showing off my diverse side. I think that’s one of my better points—and my secret weapon. If I didn’t look good in bold styles, I wouldn’t have tried them. It just feels like it’s me. Everyone including L.O.Λ.E say it really suits me. I usually like to wear clothes that are cool and comfortable, but when I’m doing a photo shoot or I get the chance to try on something flashy it’s like I want to push it to the limit. I like to try things that other people won’t and then show everyone that I can pull this kind of stuff off.

What do you think it is that allows you to pull off those styles so well?

REN: My mom had my ears pierced when I was a kid, and she used to dress me up in her clothes or other fancy clothes. She said I look good with highlights or a perm, and when I would dance or show off, she’d clap and tell me, “You should become a celebrity!” That really helped me to gain confidence, and it awakened my sense of fashion and style, I think.

You mentioned that you bought yourself a professional skin care machine and use that.

REN: It hasn’t really been possible to go to the dermatologist lately, so I thought I’d be better off buying a machine (laughs) and trying to take care of it myself at home. I’m a celebrity and it’s part of my job to be seen by people, so it only makes sense that I should pay attention to my appearance. It’s also a kind of self-satisfaction.

Maybe that’s the reason you like to wear extreme makeup and clothing, like you have in performances and on variety shows.

REN: Makeup and clothing give me a unique persona when I put them on. I feel like I become a different person when I’m dressed up—kind of like I put on a mask. People feel confident when they put on makeup. When I get dressed up, I feel like I’ve really become a character, and then I end up feeling more relaxed and confident. Like, when we first debuted, I did a photo shoot with MINHYUN and Uee for W Korea. I had on a long blue wig and smoky makeup like a rocker. That’s the first time I ever felt that kind of rush. Since then, anytime I change, I feel like I’ve found a new me, and I end up having courage.

You can see that relaxed, confident feeling reflected in “ROCKET ROCKET,” your solo song on the new album.

REN: I did two solo songs in different genres so far, but this time I decided I would record a song with explosive energy, for both the performance and the music. That was how the idea started. Then I got the idea for a rocket. I thought about how rockets go up and then they explode. I am that rocket: (stretching hands into the air in the shape of a rocket) I’m going to blast off, into the sky. (laughs)

What do you mean, exactly, when you say you’ll blast off into the sky like a rocket?

REN: When I sing, “This is me / Wanna love myself,” it’s a message to the people who always criticize me or have something against me. “No matter what I’m up to, I’m Choi Min Ki. I love myself!” (laughs) What it means is, from now on, I’m not going to hide—I’m going “up higher, up into a brand new world” no matter what anyone says. When I sing, “the shimmer in my eyes is shaking,” I’m singing about the vibrations from the ground shaking just before the rocket takes off. I also interpreted the shaking as coming from inner conflict or pain. I also say, “But I don’t mind that / I’m not gonna worry about those things anymore / Just gotta keep moving forward.” The listener is supposed to be the person who’s watching the rocket launch. I wanted to make them feel my explosive emotions as they listen.

Now that you’ve explained the song, I’m really curious about what the performance will look like.

REN: Well, I think it’ll be good if the stage doesn’t explode. (laughs) I think it’ll be a lot of fun. In the middle of the song, you hear this sound: doo-doo-doo-doo. There’s also this shhh sound before the rocket goes off. Then the chorus bursts in with “rocket rocket rocket.” I think that part’s really powerful, and the whole performance will get increasingly intense.

I can’t imagine it was easy to get across all that energy while recording.

REN: I recorded it until I was worked up with all this crazy energy, checked, did it again, and just kept repeating that. It was quite the challenge. Seriously, I was building up all this energy until I was tense, and feeling insane, and finally I totally let myself loose. (yelling) “Rocket rocket rocket!” And it was something like six in the morning. I completely lost my mind. (laughs) I went crazy. The other members heard it later and said, “You really went all in! Who could sing this song other than you?” (laughs) They all reacted that way. It was really fulfilling.

And you wrote all the lyrics for “ROCKET ROCKET.”

REN: I was feeling determined and told myself, “I will absolutely write this whole thing.” Then I wrote it all from beginning to end. I thought if I was going to express myself and my thoughts properly, I had to pour my thoughts into each and every word. Last time I wrote a solo song, I figured out how to get each thought down in my own words. So writing this one wasn’t so much difficult as it was fun.

Outside of your solo song, what other parts of this album were you particularly satisfied with?

REN: I felt kind of proud when I heard the “lat cha lat cha” part of “BLACK.” It was really hard to get the feeling right for that part. Whenever I’m stuck over how to express myself in a song, I just tell myself, “I am a master of R&B” (laughs) and cast a spell on myself. And then (with eyes closed, rhythmically) “lat cha lat cha …” It ends up sounding really good. (laughs) To be completely honest, if I don’t do it that way, I feel embarrassed. At first I was nervous and singing: (quietly) “lat cha lat cha …” But then the producer said, “Come on, Min Ki! You gotta rev up the engine.” Right away, I started my engine. (closes eyes, then rhythmically) “Lat cha lat cha …” (laughs)

There’s a lot of little details in the choreography for the lead single, “INSIDE OUT.” How did you pull it off?

REN: This choreography is a little different from anything you’ve seen from us before, so I had a hard time practicing this one, and it took me a little while to get used to it. There are a lot of detailed parts in the choreography, so I thought putting my own sense of style into it was important. You know—that swag. I got through that song by thinking I’m a superstar and then singing it. I also think the overall silhouette when I dance is important—I always keep that in mind while I practice.

I feel like your experience from the musical Jamie probably helped you to bring out the detail in your dance moves.

REN: That was a huge help. In fact, I heard about some genres of dance I never even tried before thanks to Jamie. For example, when you’re voguing, you have to break the moves into detailed pieces in time with the beat. But I’d never done that kind of dancing before, so I was totally lost at first. I was so worried that I thought about the choreography for Jamie night and day and kept practicing. Then finally, one day, I was on the stage, realizing I could do it. I think half of dancing is confidence. I never used to be very confident about dancing, but my confidence went way up during Jamie, and I think it probably shows when I’m dancing with NU’EST.

Could you tell me more about that confidence?

REN: I discovered my potential. Honestly, when I was first offered to audition for Jamie and got the script, I wasn’t confident. How could I star as the main character even though it’s my first musical? How could I memorize so many lines and dance numbers? I felt like I couldn’t do it when I thought about all of that. But I worked really, really hard. I would spend my break times, and even times when I should’ve been sleeping, in the green room continuously memorizing lines, while touring for an album at the same time. It was insane. And then, one day, I was doing it on the stage. When I saw myself do that, I thought that if someone puts all their blood, sweat and tears into something, there’s nothing they can’t do. I figured, now that I’ve done this, I can do anything. It gave me a lot of courage.

It looks like Jamie influenced you in quite a number of ways.

REN: Jamie is open about who he is. His character is full of self-love: (shaking his body) “This is who I am!” I learned a lot about how and when to express my thoughts and feelings after playing that character without realizing it, and I think I’ve developed more emotional depth overall.

It’s difficult to show that kind of emotion through song or dance. Did you ever feel that way for real?

REN: Let’s say someone shoots a gun (pretends to fire a gun) in this position in a movie. In the past, I would’ve just watched it without thinking. But now (stares intensely) I watch like this: “Huh? Why did they shoot that gun?” Now I think carefully about the reason and the meaning of the gun. I end up thinking about this kind of detail instead of missing it. I also watched a makeup competition show on Netflix called Glow Up recently. If this were before doing Jamie, I probably would’ve focused on figuring out who’s winning. But now it doesn’t matter who’s winning. What’s the theme of each episode? Why are the makeup artists doing what they’re doing? And what are they expressing? That’s what interests me now. What I focus on when I watch something has changed.

You’ve also said that Jamie is very similar to you.

REN: There were a lot of people who looked at me funny when I first debuted and had long hair. It’s gotten better, but I hope people’s awareness will improve and that they can be more open-minded than now. I hope people don’t come to any conclusions no matter how I change my appearance and just think, That person’s cool. He pulls that off well.

You also hosted To.Night with ARON.

REN: Since we weren’t on stage, I wanted to give an honest look at how I am when I’m not being an idol. And ARON is just like family to me. You’re never as comfortable as when you’re around family. So I just did it like I was hanging out at home with him.

You knew almost every single song by the other artists. You got them right away, like you’re some kind of dance vending machine.

REN: I love watching performances so much that when I was young and my other friends would go hang out at Internet cafes or something, I’d be at home watching music shows on TV. After that, it became a habit. Even now I often watch to see what kind of dances other people are doing. I watched Brave Girls’ performance of “Rollin’ ” recently and was really impressed. We had an old hit become popular too, you know? That’s why it felt like watching ourselves. I suddenly got very emotional watching that, because I understood how it feels.

It seems like you have a great capacity for empathy, and that you value the people around you just as much you value yourself.

REN: Because I’m not the only person on Earth. I can’t help but know how someone feels when they get hurt if I’ve been hurt the same way. That’s why I never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I want to look after the people around me and treat them with care. And above all else, I want to do more for my family. They’re one of the reasons I dedicate my life to my work and can’t stop for anything.

You get a lot of love from your team members, too.

REN: “Am I really that cute? Am I?” Sometimes I think like that. (laughs) The other members adore me, and their love gives me strength.

Why did you say that the time they came to see Jamie was the most nervous you ever felt?

REN: I think the people who expect the most from me are my family, the members of NU’EST, and L.O.Λ.E. Among all of them, the members are my oldest friends, and I think they know my strengths and weaknesses and everything about me even better than my family does. I kept thinking, I need to overcome my weaknesses and show how much I improved, but what if I mess up? And I was kind of afraid I might let them down. And I was much more aware of that feeling because of how much they mean to me.

I’m curious how you feel about your group, now that it’s been almost 10 years since your debut.

REN: I’m actually just happy we’re not in our first or second year. There’s always a reason when a team has been around so long. I think there’s a different kind of appeal when they’ve been around awhile. We’re not just making an album, performing on music shows, and doing whatever the label says. This is our life, and I think it’s become a part of who we are. And I hope we can keep at it together for a long time.

Then how would you characterize your feelings about L.O.Λ.E?

REN: Seeing how L.O.Λ.E always work hard for us, love us unconditionally, come to see our performances even when it’s really hot or cold out—especially now as they cheer us on where we can’t even see them—I want to keep finding new ways to show them how much they mean to me, too. L.O.Λ.E is like an oasis to me. (laughs) They give me life; they keep me going. They’re the reason I can live the way I do.