Everything TAEHYUN says eventually circles back to one thing: music. It’s not just what he invests his heart and soul into, but also his primary medium for expressing love, as well as the driving force propelling him forward.

You tried keeping a journal and reading more books earlier this year.

TAEHYUN: That no longer applies though. (laughs) I got busy with work. It felt like a great year, being on tour and everything, but it came with some pressure. I know it’s not possible for someone to be able to give me all the answers to life, but I bought some books anyway, thinking they might at least provide some tips. I guess I’d still be reading if they had any really amazing ones … (laughs) I kept a diary for around one or two months. I usually share my thoughts and feelings to the other members, my friends, and sometimes staff members more than my family. At one point I was struggling emotionally, and I was telling someone on staff about it, but they just went into work mode. (laughs) They told me, “You can get it all out later in lyrical form. It’d be good to sort through it.” So I ended up keeping that diary half because of that and half because I was using my phone too much during the tour.

What sort of things did you write in your diary? Some people simply write down the things that happened that day and some  talk about their feelings and emotions.

TAEHYUN: I mostly write down my thoughts and feelings. Shocking, right? That’s what I usually go for. Then I started to have doubts when every day started to feel the same. I asked the person who recommended that I keep a diary and  they said, “You write the same thing, but each day you feel a little different. You should work through that.” My number one priority is how something makes me think or feel, then I can explain what actually happened. Later on, I can look back and see how I was feeling at the time.

Are you trying anything else new lately?

TAEHYUN: I’m actually laying off things one by one. I’m even taking a little break from exercising and just concentrating on doing what I have to do. I feel like taking a short break here and there means I have more physical and mental capacity when I have to concentrate on my work.

What do you do when you have a little bit of downtime?

TAEHYUN: I had about three days off and I just got back from a trip to Gangwon Province with some friends. I was so happy that it made me worried for the future. I find it stress-relieving to talk about light-hearted, random things and to just say whatever comes to mind without thinking too hard. (laughs)

Considering how good you are at everything, what kind of things make you nervous?

TAEHYUN: Well, just showing up to the MTV Video Music Awards means having to be totally focused as soon as someone points a microphone at you. (laughs) People ask us questions we’re not expecting on the red carpet, and Kai and I were more nervous for that than our performance. For Lollapalooza Chicago also, we were super focused since we had to pull off various media promotions at the same time.

But then you have to fully immerse yourself in the performance that follows, right? Like in songs such as “Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go” where you have to be full of energy.

TAEHYUN: I just get totally swept up in it all. (laughs) The thing I was so thankful for at Lollapalooza is that the audience was absolute perfection. They were more excited for “Blue Spring” than we expected, so we really were working together with them to make that performance what it was. It’s not like I try to get to that place on stage—it just happens. When I’m up there, I get full of main character energy. (laughs) For a song like “Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go,” it’s not like anyone tells me to do that—I just get so into it that I end up doing things like spraying my water bottle around. There’s no other experience like it. Nine times out of 10, I perform just like I planned, but for songs like that, it’s completely different from how I rehearse it. If the audience reacts well when I go wild, I think, Do I really have to stick to the plan, or can I do whatever I want? (laughs) But I still make sure not to cross a line.

With all that in mind, how did you feel about the carefully planned-out performance of “Back for More (with Anitta)” at the VMAs?

TAEHYUN: I think it was a bold move since that live performance was the first time anyone had heard the song. I wasn’t nervous on the actual day, but I was while practicing. After BEOMGYU does the intro, I have to sing “When I’m with you,” and I was repeating the words, “When I’m,” inside my head, like, 20 times. (laughs) What I wanted was for the audience to be reminded of Michael Jackson. The intonation was similar, and I even ad-libbed in a similar way, and I was hoping the dance moves would remind people of him, too.

What is it about Michael Jackson that you think’s so alluring?

TAEHYUN: When people talk about Michael Jackson, they usually talk about how he dances, but for me, it’s all about his vocals. I think every song he sang in, from his days with the Jackson 5 right until his last release, all show an unbelievable amount of skill. So I thought over how I could sound equally enticing. I was focused on being energetic while still getting the intonation just right.

I feel like you would have had to use a variety of different vocal styles for the songs off your latest album. Some of the songs are more straightforward, American-style pop, but others have a subtle, more nuanced feeling.

TAEHYUN: I felt like it went the smoothest of all our albums, at least as far as recording the vocals was concerned. Not only are we a lot better, but we’ve also worked with our producers a lot, so it’s a lot faster now. I fully interpreted the songs first, but my vocals were kind of lagging behind what I had envisioned. (laughs) It was frustrating because I couldn’t sing what I was imagining, but eventually my vocals caught up, making things easier for sure. I gave a lot of thought about my vocals and came up with two requirements. One is to practice finding what I call healthy vocals. We have a set list of over 20 songs that we do dozens of times, and if I want to be in the same good condition to perform it, finding healthier vocals is going to be better in the long run, I think. And now that I’m getting better at conveying the same kind of nuances live that I’m able to do while recording, I want to perfect it.

How is it you’re always able to make those kinds of judgment calls and keep on improving?

TAEHYUN: First I think about what I’m not good at, then what I am good at. I work on what I’m not good at, and when I feel tired out, I practice what I am good at. That’s how I do it. I think I have to acknowledge things first to overcome them and improve. And I think I know better than anyone else exactly what I’m not good at. I feel like anyone would have a way better chance of improvement if they don’t try to fool themselves. It’s similar to what we’re saying on “Chasing That Feeling,” I think.

Like “Chasing That Feeling,” you’re facing things head-on rather than avoiding them.

TAEHYUN: People all say, “if you can’t avoid it, enjoy it,” but I’m not like that. (laughs) I’m more like, “if you can’t enjoy it, just grin and bear it.” So I think I was able to relate to the song. You know, there’s lots of times when you know what you want to do but you just can’t get your body to move. I think that’s the “feeling” the song is talking about that you might feel but when you still have to work toward the things you have to do.

The message, music, and choreography of the single are a little different from what you’ve done before. How did you go about interpreting that?

TAEHYUN: I couldn’t actually picture the choreography after I heard the song, but I feel like the dance gave the song its persuasion and emotion. There’s parts where we run, chase after something, reach out, and act like we’re in pain. We got the choreography, practiced it, reviewed the video, and I think that helped me understand the intended direction better. The album’s about coming down to Earth, so naturally it was always going to be a little harsher and more challenging, but it’s still about moving forward. I feel like the single really encapsulates the story of the whole album. It was amazing because it felt like it could apply to people from all walks of life.

Are there any songs off the album that you really related to?

TAEHYUN: I’m not sure if this counts as relating, but, as you know, we have a complex backstory now. There’s some lyrics that really capture how we got to where we are today in “Happily Ever After”: “Oh my God / The ending is unknown / Life is not a fairy tale.” Up until now, we’ve been more like a fairy tale, and I like how it’s about the past, present, and future all in one song—like, Now that I’ve come down to the real world, I know life’s not a fairy tale, but it’s still a beautiful thing because I can’t see an inch in front of my face and there’s no saying what I’ll find at the end. That’s where I’m headed.

Speaking of which, where do you feel TOMORROW X TOGETHER is at right now?

TAEHYUN: I’d say this latest album is a major turning point. Sure, we’ve always been relatable, but I feel like we’ve never handled those topics in a realistic way. Now it’s all about coming down to Earth. I think we’ll get more comfortable with the process of taking the things we need to and will say and putting them into lyrics. It feels like my life story and what TOMORROW X TOGETHER sings about will overlap more and more as time goes on.

What direction do you ultimately hope to pursue in music?

TAEHYUN: I’m not set in stone on that yet.. (laughs) I’ve always liked a lot of different kinds of music, but lately I’m trying to listen to music that’s touching and easy on the ears. I mostly listen to songs that have good vocals and lyrics—especially those with compelling lyrics.

For example?

TAEHYUN: Off the top of my head? “Good News” off Mac Miller’s album Circles. I was inspired by and found a lot of comfort in that song and the whole album when I was having a hard time. So I gave YEONJUN a copy of it on vinyl for his birthday this year. I still feel melancholy whenever I listen to “Good News.” I have a T in my MBTI, but it makes me feel like my powers of empathy just skyrocket. (laughs) “So tired of being so tired”—I love those lyrics.

Sometimes music is a source of stress for you, but music is also what helps you get rid of your stress.

TAEHYUN: Isn’t it ironic? But music itself doesn’t really give me much stress, actually. I feel like the sweat and tears that go into the process of making music and choreography makes me feel alive. Yes, I can get stressed out from other things, but music takes care of that.

When you look way down to the end of the road you’re on, what do you see?

TAEHYUN: Hopefully the quality of my work will go up over time to the point that I’m at a level where I can move people after just a second with me. Lots of things can move a person, but for me, I’m especially moved when I witness great art. I was moved when I saw Jung Kook’s choreography video for the song “3D” recently. He’s got an aura all his own. He’s the GOAT, hands down. (laughs) Every move he makes across every bar of the song just oozes cool and nuance. It’s like, What did I just watch? What am I listening to? I had to watch it again. I think that’s what it means to be moving.

Everything you say circles back to music. I know you have goals as a group, but do you have any personal dreams of your own?

TAEHYUN: I’m happy when it shows how much effort I put into something, even if only slightly. And those are the dreams I can make come true fairly soon. Anyway, they’re all related to work. (laughs) I think that’s what keeps me moving forward. If I practice without being asked sometimes and suddenly I can pull off things I had trouble with before, then later doing things that someone tells me to do becomes more enjoyable, too.

What’s your take on the pressure you feel when you’re doing that and you come up against something difficult?

TAEHYUN: I just deal with it. I always use the expression “get it done” because it feels more like I’m achieving something. Just saying I’m “doing it” makes me feel like I’m being told to do it and there’s no sense of accomplishment there. (laughs) So I try to focus on the concept of getting things done when I’m asked. I think all the other members feel similarly. We all say, “We got it done.” (laughs) When someone says, “This is hard” then I get comforted when someone says “Yes, it is supposed to be hard,” or “It is hard and I’m having trouble too.”

Sometimes I can tell how much you value the other members for working and weathering together.

TAEHYUN: I think people can tell that I’m kind to people I really care about. (laughs) There’s MOA, of course. And the other members, and the people on staff, and that’s pretty much it. Some people who have worked with me and got to know the real me might see me and think, He’s trying his hardest. (laughs)I always try my best to be sweet, warm, and friendly.

You also purposely go out as far out as you can on the stage for the fans, and you remember dates for things like concert ticket raffles.

TAEHYUN: I find it harder to put things into words, but I’m usually okay at showing them, so that explains why I use actions instead of words. I always try to be attentive and caring. I also try to put my ideas into words like, Well, what if we tried doing it a little more like this?

It seems like the way you pour yourself into your work is your own kind of love language. You showed your thanks for MOA by borrowing the title of an article, “Musical perseverance pays off,” when giving your speech after a number one during your previous promotional period. What are you hoping to convey to MOA through the music on your new album?

TAEHYUN: Whenever we release an album, I hope that lots of people are able to relate to it. The new album tries to empathize with things that don’t get talked about much, so it should fill people with strength. I hope it does, anyway. I hope people can find some consolation in the lyrics. Because it’s not really things they would talk with other people about. (laughs) What I mean is, we don’t tend to talk to people about getting around to acknowledging and accepting things. I know I need to get this done fast, but I’m really deceiving myself and others about it. The music recognizes that process. At the same time, it says we’ve been there before too, so just chase that feeling. I hope it helps people out in some small way.

It sounds like this album really has the power to console.

TAEHYUN: Indeed.Because TOMORROW X TOGETHER is youth itself. That’s why we’re conveying such stories.